cuz the kids forget that little dogs can actually bite sometimes.

Alessandra Ambrosio launching Velvet with velvet cake.

Remember that woman in Canada who was suing Keanu Reeves and claiming that he fathered at least one of her adult children? evil beet]

Jessica Simpson is open to online dating. I think it’s going to shock Jessica Simpson when she realizes she’s actually been part of the online dating scene for years. In fact, I bet if you went to match.com right now, you’d find out she has at least forty accounts, she lives in various places in the country, she’s between the ages of 18 and 43, and, for some reason, a lot of her english sounds like Nigeria 419 scam emails. The internet is an amazing place Ms Simpson and you’ve been here awhile. [ONTD]

Penelope Cruz will be making a cameo in Sex and the City 2. Also, did you hear the rumor that Stanford and Anthony get married in the sequel? That’s right. The two guys who couldn’t stand each other, get married. This is the same BS writing that claimed that Steve cheated on Miranda. Lame, lame, lame and stupid. Hmmm. I know too much about this show. [people]

7 minutes behind the scenes of Iron Man 2. [ONTD]

Tracy Morgan hates Cheri Oteri and Chris Kattan. In other news, I would definitely listen to Tracy Morgan reading his own book. In fact, I would probably listen to Tracy Morgan reading the nutritional ingredients in a pre-packaged pizza (because you know that would take awhile). I can’t wait for 30 Rock to start again. [crazy blind item lawyer]

Leona Lewis was PUNCHED IN THE FACE at her own book signing. Seriously, she was punched in the fast. A guy waited in line, gave her his book to sign, and while she signed it, he punched her. Security tackled him and the guy couldn’t stop laughing. Wow. What a surreal thing to happen at a book signing. Leona Lewis is okay but shaken up from the event. [crazy blind item lawyer]

Ralph Lauren is into digitally altering “fat” women and then firing those models who were “too fat”. I understand that the modeling world is brutal but firing a woman who you’ve worked with for 7 years for being “fat” is a mistake. Even if that’s WHY you want to fire her, you don’t come out and say that. You come out and say that you’re moving in a new direction. Sure, we can argue that 5′10″ and 120 isn’t fat – and, of course it isn’t – but I’m less shocked by the firing decision and more shocked by Ralph Lauren’s stupidity in handling this. How dumb can you be? Oh. And the idiots at Ralph Lauren did it again. Seriously, fire that art/advertising/whatever department and replace it with someone who doesn’t mind hiring graphic designers who don’t believe that we all have an inner alien inside us that desperately needs to get out. [crazy blind item lawyer]

Cylons are on the cover of Maxim because, well, why not? Though, to be frank, I’m kinda over the shirts that show the lower part of the boob. It’s been done a million times. I would expect cybernetic beings who, you know, can kill people and transfer their consciousness into new bodies, would have a different revealing fashion standard. But, alas, they are stuck to our limited flesh and blood take on barely-there being the ultimate in sexy/allowing us to not be put in the “adult” section of the newsstand. [ONTD]

California has less smokers than I thought. [paul kedrosky]

I love this sign. [gothamist]

You can get some free gelato today on 2nd Avenue between 55th/56th. [gothamist]