cuz the kids are going to invent air conditioning bed sheets.
Entertainment Weekly’s special Watchmen comic-con spread
The Dead Milkmen are reuniting for one show in Austin, Tx at the Fun Fun Fun Festival. Someone go and take me, plz? Pretty plz? Pretty plz with ice cream on top? I’m small and will fit in a suitcase!
Beaker’s Ode to Joy. Muppet violence is never not funny.
K-fed has sole legal and physical custody of his kids while Britney retains visitation rights. Supposedly, he wasn’t fighting for full custody but I guess his career wasn’t really bringing in the money necessary for him to give up the child support. Part of me thinks that Britney, who fought so long to keep the kids, decided to give them up as she “moves on with her life”. New album, getting fit, ditching old boytoys, having her dad around…and now the kids. I wonder what will happen next.
Salma Hayek and her babby daddy called off their engagement. Does that mean she’s single now? Is she now available for another old ugly white guy? WOOOO. I think Wall Street is going to go up 5 points just on that news alone.
Jennifer Garner is 5 months pregnant. Whatever it takes to keep her out of an Elektra costume….that’s all I ask.
Megan Fox wore a Star Wars shirt and gave every male dork on the planet more fuel for their fantasies about ever ending up with a girl like her. She knows how to work her fan base, that’s for sure.
Ashely Parker Angel called off his engagement to his babby momma. He’s a hasbeen,nobody but I have respect for him as a “celebrity” who worked on Broadway and stayed there, enjoying the steady paycheck. He’s no Mario Lopez, amirite?
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are having a girl. The emo in the world just increased by 1.
Trailer for the Watchmen. Trailer for the Watchmen. TRAILER FOR THE WATCHMEN.
July 18th, 2008 :: jennifergarner, deadmilkmen, ashleyparkerangel, meganfox, ashleesimpson, salmahayek, watchmen, britneyspears :: No Comments »
cuz the kids like spelling dumb without the b.
Penelope Cruz is being attacked by a tribble and a hair beast while on the cover of W.
Lauren Conrad claims to be the person her parents raised her to be. She either complimented her parents or really really really insulted them. I’m going to go with the later. Time to pack her up and return her to the clearence rack at K-Mart Mrs. Conrad!
Barbie released a new doll/outfit (because, really, the doll never changes but o those fabulous clothes!) that is based on a DC superheroine but everyong is claiming that Barbie is now into S&M. Now, that brings up an important question - if Barbie was into S&M, would she be a top or a bottom? Would she like being in control? Would “as plastic as Janice” be her safe word? These are the important questions of our time which I’m sure have been answered in some weird corner of the internets.
Kate Bosworth is the face of Coach and Calvin Klein. I think I’d rather the Coach from the TV series Coach be the spokesperson from Coach because, I gotta say, Kate Bosworth does nothing for me but go “that’s one pale white girl”.
David Beckham loves L.A. and I’m sure that has nothing to do with the 100 million dollar contract he received - no sir.
So I finally got around listening to Hayden Panettiere’s new song (and video) and, I must say, it is utterely boring. I do like her new do though and think that she’s trying to pull off the whole Natalie-Portman-Before-She-Pretended-To-Be-Poor thing. Keep it up.
Oh. And they just announced the nominees for the Emmys. Lets play a drinking game: everytime you find yourself caring about the Emmys, take a shot. If you still care after that, pinch yourself because you’re asleep and stuck in a nightmare. GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT.
July 17th, 2008 :: barbie, emmys, katebosworth, laurenconrad, penelopecruz, davidbeckham, haydenpanettiere :: No Comments »
cuz the kids want tickets to a red carpet event; i’m looking at you mr hiller.
Because Jeff Hiller deserves more fame
Britney Spears is spending the summer in the studio. Jessica Alba + babby = on the cover of OK and there are some scans here. Iron Man 2 will be penned by the guy who wrote this summer’s Tropic Thunder.
Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole is missing. So is her acting ability. YES I WENT THERE.
Andy Dick was arrested at 2 am this morning and charged with drug possesion and sexual battery. Is there anything he can’t do?
Oh. And a guy from my church is in the new movie Ghost Town and shows up in the trailer. He’s at about 1:20 and says “is this a bad time?” Lulz.
July 16th, 2008 :: jeffhiller, andydick, sarahjessicaparker, ironman, jessicaalba, britneyspears :: No Comments »
cuz the kids think dating sauropods is going to be the next trendy thing in hollywood.
Reason #4 on why you shouldn’t date a T-Rex : You can’t go to Toyko
New York, 800 years in the future, looks suprisingly like New York of today. Bad Religion is going to try and write a new album every 2 years. Gym Class Heroes released a video from their upcoming 2008 release. The Dropkick Murphys posted a previously unreleased trackand Whoopi Goldber is is joining Xanadu.
The Dark Knight has a trailer for the Watchmen and Harry Potter attached to it. And NY Magazine and the New Yorker both gave the Dark Knight a negative review (but both loved Heath Ledger). And the premier was held in NYC last night and everyone wore black (obviously).
Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel broke up after 5 years of dating. Now they can both go have sexual relations with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
The first pictures of the Brangelina twins went for 11 million dollars to…someone and it’ll all be donated to charity.
The High School Musical 3 trailer hit the internets. Go watch because I didn’t.
Here are 9 reasons not to date a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Now they tell me. sheesh.
The Boutique, Kitson dropped Lauren Conrad and Victoria Beckham’s clothing line since no one was buying it.
An open casting call for Spiderman the Musical is on July 28th. That show is going to suck….suck hard.
A quarter of the companies on the S&P 500 shouldn’t be on there.
Sienna Miller is topless which really isn’t that exciting for me (she’s too…eh. boring) but what is exciting is that she’s topless, with a guy, who’s married. She’s a wonderful wonderful homewrecker. Awww.
Hayden Panettiere’s new single, Wake up Call was released. Go listen to it because Ryan Seacrest personally hates my mac and I have no idea what it sounds like.
Fiest made an epic performance on Sesame Street. What a great show.
Oh. And one of Kim Kardashian’s sisters was sentence to jail for a DUI and for failing to attend driving school and the like. Why is this news? Why?
July 15th, 2008 :: darknight, whoopigoldberg, badreligion, sarahsilverman, brangelina, sesamestreet, feist, gymclassheroes, siennamiller, spiderman, victoriabeckham, harrypotter, haydenpanettiere, dropkickmurphys, watchmen, laurenconrad, jimmykimmel, hsm :: No Comments »
cuz the kids think that skipping pilates class might be the right thing to do tonight.
Miss Venezuela winning the Miss Universe 2008 title
So, Wall-E has brought back interest of a revival of Hello Dolly! to Broadway.
Miss USA, in the evening gown competition in Miss Universe competition, fell on her butt. Feel free to watch that all day long. Oh, and out of the top 5 finalists, 4 were latinas. And Miss Venezuela won the whole thing. Who’s pretty? We’re pretty.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt gave birth to a boy and a girl. The boy was named Knox Leon and the girl was named Vivienne Marcheline. They could have been worse.
Michael Cain finally received his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Former White House Spokesman Tony Snow died after a long battle with colon cancer. He was 53 years old.
“The Hills” is starting a spinoff with a show based in DC. I’m probably going to hate this show…and I’ll probably end up watching two or three episodes because I am a weak, weak man.
Lindsay Lohan’s third album drops in November (and will keep dropping in the charts from november through december and january).
July 14th, 2008 :: missuniverse, michaelcain, tonysnow, bradpitt, broadway, lindsaylohan, angelinajolie, thehills :: No Comments »
cuz the kids enjoy eating a big sandwich and being as pregnant as they want to be.
wow. nothing is going on today.
Lilo’s leggings are now for sale. They cost around 100 dollars or more. Or you can go buy leggings from old navy for 6 dollars. So, believing that when you put on the leggings, you become Lindsay Lohan costs an extra 94 dollars. I…don’t know what to say.
And that’s it. Lilo’s leggings are the only thing interesting over the last 20 hours or so. This is incredibly, incredibly sad. I guess I’ll just give up today’s post and drown my sorrows in watching my IRA fall steadily into oblivion. YAY ECONOMY.
July 11th, 2008 :: lindsaylohan :: No Comments »
cuz the kids have decided that Thursday is Friday’s friday.
Jessica Simpson turned 28 today and rumors are swirling that she is pregnant or she ate a really big sandwich.
Ben Folds is releasing a new album. Germs biopic is coming to theaters in August. Steve and Barrys, home of Sarah Jessica Parker’s Bitten line, filed for bankruptcy. And another Hanson entered the world.
The Christie Brinkley/Peter Cook divorce case came to an end. I guess Brinkley embarassed her ex-husband enough, she got the kids, he got some money and he is now labeled everywhere as an incredibly creepy old man who loves underage teenage girls. I’m sure that looks great on the old resume.
Ethan Hawke got married 3 weeks ago and no one cares. Poor Ethan 
Kelly Ripa wore her heels and ran for charity. This is a skill that I do not have though maybe I should. HMMMM.
The current price tag for the first pictures of Angelina’s new twins? 16 million dollars.
Who wants a Holy Water water bottle?
Dorian Leigh, the world’s first supermodel (take that Janet Dickinson), died. She was 91.
Ali Lohan released a single. She’s like 8 or something. And she’s supposedly better than her sister but that’s not really that hard, is it?
Heidi and Spencer with guns. GUNS. This, this is why America, as an experiment, will fail.
Hayden Panettiere is going to get engaged? Rumors are is that her boyfriend, who is 13 years her senior (she just turned 18 btw) is going to spend about 200k on a ring sometime soon (supposedly late june but since it’s july…) I think he does want to settle down but there is no way that she does. Nice try Milo but it would be better for you to date someone you can actually take to a bar with you.
July 10th, 2008 :: kellyripa, benfolds, spencerpratt, ethanhawke, hanson, jessicasimpson, heidimontag, angelinajolie, haydenpanettiere :: No Comments »
cuz the kids feeling like whiny about a lot of things today; don’t you just love middle class society?
Prince Harry helping rehabiliate a school for disabled children in Lesotho
Lagwagon is releasing a new album in August. AOL music has a stream of music from the new Joe Strummer biopic. The Thermals are working on a new album. Rx Bandits are too. And MxPx turned 16 on Sunday.
Cary Grant is the #1 male style icon.
Baby McConaughey is named Levi.
Ashley Dupre is getting a reality tv show.
Britney Spears is working on a video segment for Madonna’s tour.
July 9th, 2008 :: thethermals, rxbandits, princeharry, joestrummer, lagwagon, madonna, mxpx, ashleydupre, britneyspears :: No Comments »
cuz the kids think that their life needs more production designers and concept artists in it.
Kate Del Castillo on the cover of GQ Mexico
The Bouncing Souls are giving you one free download every month in 2009. Onions aren the only commodity not allowed to have future trading. McCain offers to balance the budget by increasing the deficent by 1 trillion dollars, giving 25% of all tax cuts to the wealthiest .1% of Americans and by not offering any solutions to actually raising the money necessary to close the estimated 400 billion deficent in 2013.
Beverely Hills Chihuhua seems kinda insufferable.
Samantha Ronson gave Lilo a commitment ring. They will make a ring for anything won’t they? Soon we’ll have “We went on 3 dates and I didn’t stab him/her with a fork” rings.
Drew Barrymore and Justin Long split up which surprises me. They were, for a long time, all over each other and all over the internets and tabloids but, come to think about it, I haven’t heard about them in the past few weeks. I guess that’s the new sign that a relationship is over now.
Matthew McConaughey and his girlfriend had a baby boy.
Kate Moss might be single again.
So Nicole Kidman named her daughter Sunday Rose. It seems naming babies by the day of the week is the new trend but crazy blind item lawyer thinks that maybe Kidman named her child after Suri which seems very strange (but could be true).
Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minillo are still together and utterely boring.
July 8th, 2008 :: thebouncingsouls, drewbarrymore, matthewmcconaughey, katemoss, nicolekidman, nicklachey, lindsaylohan :: No Comments »
cuz the kids really dislike having to fake being a morning person.
Jim Carey steals his girlfriend’s swimsuit
The Damned are in the studio again. No more 81 dollar hamburgers in Manhattan. Muppets love the 4th of July. Joey Chestnut wins the Mustard Belt. The US government owns 84% of Nevada. The fist winner of Nathan Hotdog eating contest ate 13 HDBs (Hot dogs and buns) in 1916 (Joey Chestnut ate 64 in 2008). Miss Mexico is the forerunner for the Miss Universe title. And A-Rod is getting a divorce and C-Rod blames Madonna.
T.I. was humped, on stage, by a fan at a church. It took 3 people to pull her off him. T.I. moves you.
Christian Bale won’t do another Batman film is Robin is introduced into the storyline.
The Friends movie isn’t happening (or so the Man says).
Crazy Blind Item lawyer revealed a bunch of blind items during this year. Nothing was earth shattering but I liked seeing Ben Affleck as a big tipper, Keanu Reeves can act better drunk than I can act sober, Nick Lachey is totally single, Lilo can’t afford first class, Natalie Portman is a dick, and Megan Fox is ridiculous.
And, finally, did you know that TV’s Wonder Woman is an alcoholic?
July 7th, 2008 :: christianbale, jimcarey, arod, thedamned, TI, friends, batman :: No Comments »
